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ARCHIBALD




When I saw her yesterday
I asked her "How much do you weigh?"
She said "Ten pounds more than yesterday."

We went out for a bite to eat
At the steakhouse 'cross the street
She ordered 18 pounds of deep fried meat.

After dinner we went home
So we could spend some time alone
But then she choked and died on a chicken bone.

Archibald, oh, Archibald
Feasting in the sky
Eating cherry pie
With the Big Guy

She got her white robe and her wings
And a harp with seven strings
And a halo made of onion rings.

But she didn't want to stay
Because there wasn't a buffet
The robe was too small for her anyway.

So now she watches over me
While I dine at OCB
Eating deep fried creatures from the sea.

Archibald, oh, Archibald
I saved your chicken bone
I wonder if you know when
You'll be coming home.

It's been a year ago today
Since Archibald did pass away
I took her flowers and some mayonaise.

Now all I do is feast and feast
On fast food that's dipped in grease
Hoping one day soon to Rest In Peace.

And on the day I finally die
I'll meet my lady in the sky
And nuzzle up to her enormous thigh.

Archibald, oh, Archibald
When will we meet again




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